I just almost passed out from an emotional attack. Well, that's sort of what it felt like. I don't want to go into details, what really interests me is the intense physical manifestation of my emotions. Certainly, I usually feel some sort of physical sense of what I'm feeling, as is probably true of all of us. That that is true is obvious in the way we talk about emotions—we feel them. But usually, I find that, even if my feelings are strong, I am still able to maintain some rational control. It's not that I can give up my sadness on a whim (nor do I think I would want to), but that, even when I feel very sad (or angry, etc.) there is most always a sort of conscious observer in my head. If any of you have ever seen Franciso Goya's etching El sueno de la razon produce monstruous (The sleep/dream of reason produces monsters) [small ; big], the lynx (in the bottom right hand corner of the picture) reminds me very much of this sense of a conscious observer, somewhat separated from the principal flow of events. Today, I had a brief experience of losing that. I was still somewhat aware of myself as thinking subject, so I won't say I lost it entirely, but what little sense of the perspective of the observer that remained had no bearing on how I saw the world. Or more accurately, how the world manifested for me at that moment. It was an experience of rapture, but it ended as soon as I realised that the outside world (real) was not in fact how I had briefly believed it to be.