It was recently suggested to me that I should write about something more personal here. I think my friend, call him almost–dad, has a point. When I began this thing, it included a significant amount of personal thoughts, experiences and musings. I don't think it's entirely lost my personal voice—I write about language, philosophy and politics in a way here that I would never dare in an academic paper—but I've stopped talking about my life. My thesis has something to do with this. I spend most of my time either working on my thesis, thinking about my thesis (those two are not always the same), or irresponsibly relating my thesis to things I never should. Case in point: I was recently having what could certainly be called a heart to heart (intentionally left vague, for this is the interweb), and somehow felt it appropriate to say something like the following: "It's not that I want to make this academic, but I can't help but think about Frankfurt's criticism of "postmodern" privileging of the personal over truth....." The specifics of his argument are not to point here, but what is goes as follows: Frankfurt suggests that it is rather absurd to think that we can say anything meaningful about our own experience—ie. be 'sincere'—if we believe it is impossible to recognize truth in the external (not of our mind) world. In his view, it is much easier to recognize truth and falsity in reality than it is to know oneself. From my recent experience, the man has a point. I need a map to Evan, even just to figure out what I want. (Though my reference to Frankfurt was perhaps germane to the discussion, I still felt a bit odd after it.) I often spend too much time being academic to pay attention to how I feel. This is partly intentional. There are things in my heart I'd rather not feel right now, but it's also a matter of being a senior at ??????. I also exagerate slightly. I have been meditating more recently. Even if I haven't used this to look into the "depths of my heart," (this is why I don't like metaphors sometimes, even in normal discourse, what/where is the "depths of my heart" Am I perhaps manufacturing an experience that I'm supposed to have, one that may not even serve me in any positive way?) I have used it to open my mind, keep myself present, and generally be cheerful about the world.

I got to go eat and get backt o work, but I hope all are well.

Love Ev

PS. Now that I've been listening to both Illmatic and Reasonable Doubt for a solid six months, I feel I can make up my mind: Nas knocked Jay out in the first round.